


Dressed to Impress

by dreamsofspike



Category: How I Met Your Mother
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-04
Updated: 2010-09-04
Packaged: 2017-10-11 11:14:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/111794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamsofspike/pseuds/dreamsofspike
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Barney walks in on the group watching one of their favorite TV shows. He is less than impressed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dressed to Impress

**Author's Note:**

> WARNINGS: mild violence

"What are you guys watching?" Barney asked as he breezed into Marshall and Lily's living room, taking a seat on the couch beside Robin. Almost immediately he pulled a face. "Ugh, I hate this show. That guy's so unprofessional! I'm telling you, his moves are the exact opposite of smooth, and he has _no_ idea how to dress to impress..."

"I don't know, _I'm_ usually impressed."

Robin shrugged, a small smirk playing about her lips as Barney gave her a surprised look at her comment, before returning his gaze to the screen with a studious frown.

"He looks like a slob!" he insisted. "Come on! Women can't actually find that _attractive_..."

"Sorry, Barney. We do," Lily informed him, reaching into the bowl of popcorn and tossing a few pieces into her mouth.

"Wait a second... what is he doing?" Ted asked, nodding toward the screen with an incredulous look. "He's not... _shaving_?"

"He is!" Marshall sounded stunned, and genuinely offended as he leaned against the back of the couch, staring at the screen. "But... House doesn't shave! He always goes with my signature casual, comfy look! Why is he..."

"Yes!" Barney exulted, pumping his fist in the air, beaming at the screen. "Finally, this show is making sense!"

The next scene showed the lead character of the show in a well-pressed suit and tie, cleanly shaven, neatly groomed. There was a long moment of silence as the entire group stared in disbelief.

"Um... okay..." Lily began at last, wide eyes glued to the screen. "I hate to say it, but... he _does_ look good like that..."

"Better than the casual, comfy look?" Barney asked, a single brow raised.

"Um... yeah," Lily admitted, eyes averted.

"Word!" Barney grinned, glancing at Robin for her reaction before looking back at the screen. "Marshall, it's official. Your wife thinks I'm hotter than you."

"Hey, Barney?"

Barney turned automatically to face Marshall, given no warning by his casual, almost bored tone. Slap number four caught him completely off guard, spinning him around in a full circle and leaving him on his butt on the floor between the television and the couch.

"Oh, baby." Lily frowned, reaching up to soothingly stroke Marshall's arm as she looked down at Barney with mild concern. "You'll always be the hottest hottie of all to me, you know that."

"Yeah," Marshall admitted, sounding a little sullen. "And Barney will always be my bitch. Just wanted to make sure we were all clear on where we stand."


End file.
